


Domestic Dialogue

by hey_hey_hey_lover



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Domestic Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Simon Snow Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:07:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27965027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hey_hey_hey_lover/pseuds/hey_hey_hey_lover
Summary: This is just a compilation of Simon and Baz talking- they live together and they're married I guess uhhhhhh yeah that's kinda it. There's a bit of angst, but it's not bad at all.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

_**Reminiscing** _

"Remember when you tried to kill yourself by setting a forest on fire purely because you wanted me, the most heroic chosen one, to kiss you?"

  
"Nope, forgot about that, darling."

  
"Haha. You remember it like it was yesterday, don't you?"

  
"Of course I do."

"Mmh, remember when we were in the library with Wellbelove and Bunce and you decided to say 'nobody's seducing a vampire!' Despite the fact you attempted to seduce one in that very room mere minutes before?"

  
"When are you gonna let that go, Baz. It's not even that funny!"

  
"Oh yes it is."

  
"Okay, maybe it was. But that was, like, five years ago?"

  
"Six, darling. Really, are you going to forget our anniversary too?"

  
"Of course I am, that's why I have you, my devilishly handsome husband, to help me remember."

_**Nightmares** _

"Hey, Baz..?"

  
"Mmmh..What is it, love?"

  
"I can't sleep."

  
"Why? What's keeping you up?"

  
"I keep- having bad thoughts..About- the past."

  
"Hey, darling...Come here. What are you thinking about?"

  
"I don't know..I guess mostly my magic and the humdrum...and you."

  
"Shhh..Don't cry, love, I'm right here- hey, hey.."

  
"I-I'm sorry, I just- it's a lot..I was getting so much better and I stopped thinking about it for a while there and.."

  
"Simon, look at me. Recovery is a slow process..I'm right here with you. You're doing amazing, darling."

  
"You think so..?"

  
"Of course I do.."

  
"Fuck, I'm so tired.."

  
"I know, dear."

  
"Hold me until i fall asleep?"

  
"Of course."

_**Dirty Shoes** _

"Snow, I told you keep your feet off the coffee table!"

  
"Uh-uh! You don't get to call me 'Snow' anymore. That isn't my last name."

  
"It's your middle name you numpty, just because you have Pitch as your last name doesn't change your middle name. Honestly, Simon-"

  
"Ha! You said it!"

  
"And you took your feet off the coffee table. Now keep them off before I tie you to the bed."

  
"Kinky."

  
"Ugh, you're so perverted, honestly."

_**Therapy** _

"Welcome back, love. How was your session..?"

  
"It was fucking shit. I cried the whole time and she made me talk about sad things."

  
"Yes, Snow, that's how therapy works. You have to deal with your problems."

  
"Well, I don't want to! I wish I could stab my fucking problems with my sword- or snap their necks!"

  
"Get off the floor and stop talking like that."

  
"No, I like the floor. It's cold and my skin is burning."

  
"Come here, Simon."

  
"Fuck you."

  
"Fine then."

  
"What are you- Baz, put- PUT ME DOWN!"

  
"No, we're gonna go to the kitchen and make you a nice batch of scones."

  
"Baz! Put me- Wait what?"

  
"Mmh of course, the way to your heart is right through your stomach, Snow."

  
"My therapist says it's because I was starved as a child."

  
"And that's why I'm here to make sure that never happens again."


	2. Kid Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very short- I wrote this for my friends uh yeah

"Daaaarling! Breakfast is ready!"

  
"One second, love, Theo's stuck in his overalls again!"

  
"What?! Dammit- I'm coming hang on!"

  
"I'm sorry. The latches and zips always get me confused.."

  
"Come here, sweetie."

  
"Stuck! Stuck!"

  
"Yes, yes. Stuck."

  
"Oh geez.."

  
"Christ, Simon- How did you even manage this?"

  
"I'm trying! I can hardly dress myself. What were you expecting?"

  
"I'm not sure, but it certainly wasn't this.."

  
"Papa! Stuck!"

  
"You gotta stay still, Theo-"

  
"...PwAHHAHAAH-"

  
"Stop laughing!"

  
"BUT- HE JUST SMACKED YOU- ACROSS THE FACE-"

  
"It feels like I'm raising two children.."

  
"Hehehe. Bonk bonk."

  
"No, Theo. No bonk...There."

  
"Ohhh...Did you finally get him situated?"

  
"Mhm, isn't he handsome. My little rosebud.."

  
"Baz, I think the breakfast is burning."

  
"FUCK-"

  
"Stop swearing in front of our child!"

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :) this isn't really all that good and it isn't serious at all, but it makes me happy so I thought I'd share I guess. Hope you enjoyed it. If you need to talk to me my Instagram is @hey.hey.hey.lover


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